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hi guys.
It's been more than a week since i had update this blog. Or rather, since i had laid my hands on my comp... I had one of the most tiring and worst week in fact... My maternal grandmother suffered from a stroke and me and my family went down to hospital every night. And we had to face one of the worst relatives we had in the world... here's why..
(hope u dont mind this long post...allow me to vent out all the frustrations...)
It's been more than a week since i had update this blog. Or rather, since i had laid my hands on my comp... I had one of the most tiring and worst week in fact... My maternal grandmother suffered from a stroke and me and my family went down to hospital every night. And we had to face one of the worst relatives we had in the world... here's why..
(hope u dont mind this long post...allow me to vent out all the frustrations...)
*****
It all started on last Monday (5th sep), when i received a call from my sister that my grandma had a stroke, and was on the way to TTSH.. After work i rushed down, and she's already awaiting treatment at A & E. No, it didnt happen suddenly. As a matter of fact, it happened the day before (sunday). When those uncles were been called down, they "thought" she was simply choked with phlegm and didnt "bothered" to send her to the hospital...Why? Money. Decision? Wait and see how first. We didnt even know about it at that night then...it was only when my father and sist came on monday afternoon that they realise it wasnt as simple....
Fine. And when she's sent to the hospital? Only one of my uncle (4th uncle), my big aunt (wife of the 1st uncle), one of my cousin and my family were there. The 4 other uncles was un-seen. My 3rd uncle (who was my grandma favourite son, and the always most bossy but never took any responsibility) only said "call me when there's any need" and stayed at home. Ya right, when we called you later in the night your stupid phone was already off.
For nuts , she's their own mother!! Doesnt him (or them) be even more worried?? Taking their money seems more painful than their mother's condition. F**K.
Now's about my that big aunt. My grandma had been living with her first son family, hence you can say it was under my big aunt care...She had hired a maid to take care of her, but we all know she was never good to my grandma, other than when the rest of the relatives were present... True enough, when the A&E doctor came out, she was trying her best to claim credits and act fillal... wah lao, if she's really that good, my grandma wouldnt be in such a state.
From the doctor, it was confirmed that she suffered from a stroke in her right brain, hence the left part of her body is paralysed. Also, now she have difficulty in shallowing and speaking.. So she had to be hospitalised for further treatment.
As we waited in the ward for the doctor (doing his night time rounds) to come, the nurse does her checks and settles all the arrangements for contacts... comes the part when she ask for a volunteer to be the learner person (to understand the condition), no ones volunteers. Yes, even that aunt (who's been living with her and taking credits) didnt step forward, until she's been pushed to do so... Or else, my sister would already had volunteered, when things shouldnt be in this way (we are already considered outside of the family, cos it's the maternal side.)
And when the doctor finally came, he did his checks... and his atitude and tone was really bad...sounds more than a cop questioning criminals as he asked us questions...ok, guess he look young and is really stressed out. Once again, that aunt was just there saying "i took care of her this and that".... and when he asked why my grandma wasnt been observed more carefully, she pushed all to the poor maid, who just kept quiet.
Please la, cut the act... we knew since day one. By this time my cousin was already having a real black face, and stood aside quietly... She was real concerned with our grandma, much more than those sons. Further more, she knew all the stuff too, when to assert her rights as a client for things to be done (ie: call for neurologist to assess my grandma), with all the right tone to get things done. Perhaps it's her career, and also from all her experiences...her own mother (my eldest aunt) had passed away with cancer; and she had been running in and out of hospitals due to her mother and her in-laws.. I really respect her.
And my sister too... Not only her knowledge from her dip course in physiotherapy was put into practise, her unlimited care and gentle-ness was much better than any nurse there... Throughout the entire night she just hold on to my grandma palm and rubbing it to show that we are all there... kept telling her it's ok and communicating with her.
The most heart broken should be my mum... Actually, she had been blaming herself for moving out 2 years ago... When i was still at Hougang, our unit was just next door to my grandma and my 1st uncle's unit. Back then, whatever happens it would be us to settle....they just never bother much and we was taken for granted...further more, during then my grandma didnt appreciate my mum...she only "see" her favourite son...eventually my mum couldnt take it anymore (many stuff happened) and so we shifted out, leave it all for "those-who-lived-nearby" to handle. Who knows, after we left that aunt changed her face...
Still, what filled her now was more anger than grief.
By the time everything was settled, it was already pass midnight...Before we left, we asked my grandma who she wants to see.. apon the mention of her favourite son, she shook her head hard. Real hard. Guess she was finally disappointed with him. My cousin said something very true... "It's ok, that guy will grow old one day too." Very true. We will just stand aside by then and watch his fate. Or maybe i would already had forgotten about his presence.
*****
Up to wed, she was in state of dizziness still, drifting in and out of sleeps for the entire day... It was until thursday that she gotten better, and had a clearer mind, complaining about her hunger and could still check that we are fine when we visited her...
Certainly, the maid was very much happy too... she had been attached to her for slightly more than a year now, and she had already take it as if she is her own grandmother... She was soo worried that she actually cried when my grandma "woke up" from her long "sleep" that day... it was such a heartwarming moment...
There was this moment that i couldnt take it too... it was thursday, when it was the first time that she suddenly called for me... as i move over and held her palm, she cried suddenly, and it took us all by surprise... Why, we kept asking but she just didnt say (or we didnt catch it).. trust me, i nearly cried too.... My father guessed that she cried 'cos she was sad why all those sons of my uncles didnt come, but instead it was all those from the female side who came almost daily... And i believed it. She always been so traditional, and the "wai sun"s (external) will never be better than those "ne sun"s (internal). Perhaps this event had really changed her thinking.
Initially, it was already expected that she would be discharged on sat. But friday she was down with fever due to infection, and she went back to the state of dizziness... The discharge date was delayed, until monday (12th sep). The fever was gone on the day of discharge, but she was still not quite "awake" yet...until now. haIx. With my mum having off from work tomorrow, we would be going down to visit her at hougang, and i hope to see her be better.
*****
This, indeed, had changed alot of stuff. Physically, not only she could not move her left side limps, she cant speak properly now and had lost the ability to eat... "Food", in form of "liquid milk", had to be inserted by the means of a tube, directly into her throat. On the other hand, she had seen all the true colours of the people around... which son doesnt care, which is a fake, which son have the heart but not the money and energy to support it... (you xin wu li) , and who are those that really cares.
And my dear friends.. please cherish those kins you have around you... frankly, only now then i kind of regretted not spending more time with my grandma when i was younger, at my old hougang house...when she still could do everything...
And take care of your parents... It really very bad for anyone to suffer such a pain at such a age.
It all started on last Monday (5th sep), when i received a call from my sister that my grandma had a stroke, and was on the way to TTSH.. After work i rushed down, and she's already awaiting treatment at A & E. No, it didnt happen suddenly. As a matter of fact, it happened the day before (sunday). When those uncles were been called down, they "thought" she was simply choked with phlegm and didnt "bothered" to send her to the hospital...Why? Money. Decision? Wait and see how first. We didnt even know about it at that night then...it was only when my father and sist came on monday afternoon that they realise it wasnt as simple....
Fine. And when she's sent to the hospital? Only one of my uncle (4th uncle), my big aunt (wife of the 1st uncle), one of my cousin and my family were there. The 4 other uncles was un-seen. My 3rd uncle (who was my grandma favourite son, and the always most bossy but never took any responsibility) only said "call me when there's any need" and stayed at home. Ya right, when we called you later in the night your stupid phone was already off.
For nuts , she's their own mother!! Doesnt him (or them) be even more worried?? Taking their money seems more painful than their mother's condition. F**K.
Now's about my that big aunt. My grandma had been living with her first son family, hence you can say it was under my big aunt care...She had hired a maid to take care of her, but we all know she was never good to my grandma, other than when the rest of the relatives were present... True enough, when the A&E doctor came out, she was trying her best to claim credits and act fillal... wah lao, if she's really that good, my grandma wouldnt be in such a state.
From the doctor, it was confirmed that she suffered from a stroke in her right brain, hence the left part of her body is paralysed. Also, now she have difficulty in shallowing and speaking.. So she had to be hospitalised for further treatment.
As we waited in the ward for the doctor (doing his night time rounds) to come, the nurse does her checks and settles all the arrangements for contacts... comes the part when she ask for a volunteer to be the learner person (to understand the condition), no ones volunteers. Yes, even that aunt (who's been living with her and taking credits) didnt step forward, until she's been pushed to do so... Or else, my sister would already had volunteered, when things shouldnt be in this way (we are already considered outside of the family, cos it's the maternal side.)
And when the doctor finally came, he did his checks... and his atitude and tone was really bad...sounds more than a cop questioning criminals as he asked us questions...ok, guess he look young and is really stressed out. Once again, that aunt was just there saying "i took care of her this and that".... and when he asked why my grandma wasnt been observed more carefully, she pushed all to the poor maid, who just kept quiet.
Please la, cut the act... we knew since day one. By this time my cousin was already having a real black face, and stood aside quietly... She was real concerned with our grandma, much more than those sons. Further more, she knew all the stuff too, when to assert her rights as a client for things to be done (ie: call for neurologist to assess my grandma), with all the right tone to get things done. Perhaps it's her career, and also from all her experiences...her own mother (my eldest aunt) had passed away with cancer; and she had been running in and out of hospitals due to her mother and her in-laws.. I really respect her.
And my sister too... Not only her knowledge from her dip course in physiotherapy was put into practise, her unlimited care and gentle-ness was much better than any nurse there... Throughout the entire night she just hold on to my grandma palm and rubbing it to show that we are all there... kept telling her it's ok and communicating with her.
The most heart broken should be my mum... Actually, she had been blaming herself for moving out 2 years ago... When i was still at Hougang, our unit was just next door to my grandma and my 1st uncle's unit. Back then, whatever happens it would be us to settle....they just never bother much and we was taken for granted...further more, during then my grandma didnt appreciate my mum...she only "see" her favourite son...eventually my mum couldnt take it anymore (many stuff happened) and so we shifted out, leave it all for "those-who-lived-nearby" to handle. Who knows, after we left that aunt changed her face...
Still, what filled her now was more anger than grief.
By the time everything was settled, it was already pass midnight...Before we left, we asked my grandma who she wants to see.. apon the mention of her favourite son, she shook her head hard. Real hard. Guess she was finally disappointed with him. My cousin said something very true... "It's ok, that guy will grow old one day too." Very true. We will just stand aside by then and watch his fate. Or maybe i would already had forgotten about his presence.
*****
Up to wed, she was in state of dizziness still, drifting in and out of sleeps for the entire day... It was until thursday that she gotten better, and had a clearer mind, complaining about her hunger and could still check that we are fine when we visited her...
Certainly, the maid was very much happy too... she had been attached to her for slightly more than a year now, and she had already take it as if she is her own grandmother... She was soo worried that she actually cried when my grandma "woke up" from her long "sleep" that day... it was such a heartwarming moment...
There was this moment that i couldnt take it too... it was thursday, when it was the first time that she suddenly called for me... as i move over and held her palm, she cried suddenly, and it took us all by surprise... Why, we kept asking but she just didnt say (or we didnt catch it).. trust me, i nearly cried too.... My father guessed that she cried 'cos she was sad why all those sons of my uncles didnt come, but instead it was all those from the female side who came almost daily... And i believed it. She always been so traditional, and the "wai sun"s (external) will never be better than those "ne sun"s (internal). Perhaps this event had really changed her thinking.
Initially, it was already expected that she would be discharged on sat. But friday she was down with fever due to infection, and she went back to the state of dizziness... The discharge date was delayed, until monday (12th sep). The fever was gone on the day of discharge, but she was still not quite "awake" yet...until now. haIx. With my mum having off from work tomorrow, we would be going down to visit her at hougang, and i hope to see her be better.
*****
This, indeed, had changed alot of stuff. Physically, not only she could not move her left side limps, she cant speak properly now and had lost the ability to eat... "Food", in form of "liquid milk", had to be inserted by the means of a tube, directly into her throat. On the other hand, she had seen all the true colours of the people around... which son doesnt care, which is a fake, which son have the heart but not the money and energy to support it... (you xin wu li) , and who are those that really cares.
And my dear friends.. please cherish those kins you have around you... frankly, only now then i kind of regretted not spending more time with my grandma when i was younger, at my old hougang house...when she still could do everything...
And take care of your parents... It really very bad for anyone to suffer such a pain at such a age.
*
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