Yes, it is sickening.

Does all this happens to you too?

1) You knew something is wrong, and wanted to tell/warn your friends about it. But they wouldnt believe you, or they would be stronger in their arguement. So you chose to keep quiet simply b'cos you cannot argue. You cant support the facts, cant express strongly.
You can only wait til everything happen as what you had predicted, but even you can say "see i told you so" by then, nothing helps.

2) You knew someone was doing something not right. You wanted to just confront him and split everything out on the table. You should have done that cos all evidences are with you and it's a definate victory. But you cannot express/argue well. The person is good in twisting facts towards his advantage. In the end you kept quiet and lost it. And become an escaping coward.


Yes, I confronted someone before. Damn myself i cannot talk. I lost it terribly. And now for all that other events that followed i choose to stay quiet against them. On the fear of bombastic return fires that i cant simply handle. On the fear of lost.

It's not a good feeling ok. I cant be someone who ran away forever. But running is always the easiest yet hard way to do it.

I did mentioned this before:
"Knowledge is nothing without knowing how to express it"

...i'll expand on it now further: "Knowledge" is evidence, and "express" is to argue. So what if i knew everything? If i cant argue with my points i'm no worse than a fool.

If i can always support my thinking and points, i no longer need to live with my head down. No longer need to live in fear of losing. And escapes.

I better learn how to argue. It helps not only in all the damn essays, but everyday life.

Sickening.


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