Light is at the end of the tunnel

After my interview several weeks back, i had in mind a brief for a new post to write; it's about how nice it is to take a detour via train, particularly east west line, where the fast disappearing landscape outside the windows helps to bring your thoughts away... Clearing your mind which was heavily flooded after that revolting interview...

Yet, this post was never completed. What i'm going to narrate now, is an opposite. What happened after that incident was an irony; what was suppose to be a mundane life for me now, events still occur to me every now and then. That why, there are still stuff to ponder and think about.

Nowadays i began to take the underground NEL train for convenient sake. This is a byproduct of my laziness, however alongside i discovered: as cold and boring the tunnel may seem, as much i dislike it, it could do good. Cos nothing to see means nothing to distract, meaning maximum space in brain for the thoughts to take over. It can be an unhealthy recursive negative feelings, it can also be the straightening out towards practical solutions. It's natural: especially when you cant sleep and there's nothing to do or watch.

Which, leads to this strange aftermath feeling. What a time i'm going thru now. Yes i may love all the freedom i enjoy now, all the flexiblity because i'm free and not committed to any thing now, but, there's so much more i want to do. I may have so much inspiration, so much ideas and plans to achieve, but, there's no avenue, no means. For now, period.

I know, i heard, i aware, that all these now is nothing but a temporary phrase. I'm definately sure that one day all that i wish for will happen if i work on it. Just pardon me now cos, after all the tunnels and trains and idleness, production of all these thoughts filled out all the buckets in my brain, so just allow me to pour and empty them here.

Thx heaven for blogspot. Typing this on mobile had occupied me from Punggol to Farrer Park station. 

(this version here now is, of course, post-edited on laptop thereafter)
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the name that was 24 years late.

First, the nurse pronounces it as Jing xiong without fail, during every frequent visit to the family clinic.

Then, for the last 3 years in primary school, the name was pronounced differently as the more common chinese characters for the two words.

And while doing customer service during intern, you realize that several repetition is required on the phone before people get it and remember the name, thus shortly after, the introduction process was simplified as “Lin”; for the ease.

All it seems like, if I ever would enter a frontline job, I need an English name.

Que the entrance of “book of baby names”, 24 years after the birth of this baby.


So after some really enduring silly jokes and craps (eg, "farkson"), this particular name was selected after an exhaustive short listing of choices with elimination of many other names that was associated with bad impression in others’ personal experience. (what a long statement)

How does it feel like to adopt a new name at this age?

I do not know for now, coz I haven’t really activated the use of this name yet. To be activated if my eventual job requires it.

I can imagine, it got to be weird to hear people calling you something else, on picking up the call. Need adaptation.

However, it might be some form of new identity; the more professional me with that name, the more relaxed after I was called Jingxiang again. And possibly, less barriers in approaching strangers…? More natural in introducing myself? Less focus in getting my name right and more focus on what I'm about to communicate on?

Well, I shall get to know and experience it when the time comes. For now, I shall still be known as Jingxiang; and this new name will be under the tightly-secured-air-tight wrap.

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